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What I am feeling now is something that no one can understand unless they are in my position. I can’t believe I am crying because of this. To others it will seem like I am a spoilt brat and that I am being stupid. “Its not like you cannot afford the money for the trip”
Its not abt the money. Its the effort, the pride, expectations and emotions I am invested in it that makes it so hard to let go.
I know my friends and family mean well when they tell me to look on the brighter side. But its human to be greedy and we always look at the bad things and take the good things for granted in a way. How can you then blame me when I feel so sore and upset about not getting the scholarship.
I guess representing the school for chingay for two consecutive years are not good enough.
The more you want something, the more you aren’t going to get it. Oh how well I can relate to this now.
Other people deserve it more than I do. This is smth I just got to get over. Fuck myself for feeling this way. Disgusting and immature.
Turning this negative energy into something positive. Watch out.
